Goth Jokes

What do you call a goth lying in the road? A speed bump. Two goths are walking down the road, one says "I just bought the new Love Like Blood CD." The other says "F_ck me, a talking goth!"

How do you get a goth out of a tree? Cut the rope!

Theres a goth walking down the road with a rat on his shoulder. An old lady walks past, stops, stares at the two and says "Yeuk! What are you doing with that revolting creature?" "Squeak squeak squeak!" says the rat.


What do you store your heavy velvet cape in for the summer? Goth balls.

Why is it so hard for goths to get work? Because all they can do is mope the floors are depress the buttons.

What did the vampire say when he looked in the mirror? "So nice not to see you again"

Wayne Hussey dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates, he meets up with Gabriel who gives him the grand tour of heaven. While toruing he sees many familiar faces including Jimi Hendrix, Ian Curtis, Mary Shelly, and of course Nick Fiend kinda shows up once in a while... And then he sees Andrew Eldritch Sitting on a HUUUGE throne.. Wayne Says to Gabriel "I didn't know Andrew was dead!" Gabriel replies, "Oh, that's God(tm) He only thinks he's Andrew"


What's another name for a gothgirl? A Crow-ho.

What do goths buy at the liquor store when they don't have much cash? Crow-Magnums.

"Waiter! Waiter! There's a dead squid in my soup!" "It's not dead Sir, it's just dreaming."

What do you get when you cross Lee Iococca with a vampire? AUTOEXEC.BAT

How many casuals does it take to make a hamburger? Who cares, just think of all the fun we could have putting them through the mincer to find out!

How many "New Kids on the Block" does it take to paint a wall red? Only one if you throw it hard enough.

How many fratboys does it take to wallpaper a room? That depends on how thinly you slice them.

How many goths does it take to make cheesecake? None, there are no goths in cheesecake.

Old goths don't die, they just need less makeup.

Two goths are having sex. (Strange, I know, but true.) Suddenly, the girl goth comes. "Darling, darling!" says the boy goth, "what's wrong?" "Nothing," says the girl goth, "nothing at all. Why?" "You moved."

Why did the goth cross the road? It didn't, it was dead.

What's black and sits in the corner? A dead baby goth.

What's black and knocks on the window? A goth in a microwave.

"He's *such* a *goth* ..." "How *much* of a goth *is* he?" "... that when he hangs around the house ... he *hangs* around the house!"

"Say, who was that *goth* I saw you with last night?" "*That* was no *goth*! I'm a *necrophiliac*!"

What happens if you don't pay the exorcist? You get repossessed.

How does a perkygoff paint his ceiling black? He dyes his hair and starts bouncing.