Jennifer, you lost it all and it's your own damn fault!!!
Can anyone really hate Jennifer Aniston? Sure can.
Sure she can't really act, but what does that matter? Most people in Hollywood can't act. Jennifer Aniston always seems like she has a major stick up her ass and the reason she got into show business must be that she has relatives in L.A. With the exception of Office Space they all suck. But that wouldn't matter. You'd have her legs to look at, those long brown, luscious legs stretched out before you. You must kidding me, right?
If you doubt her lack of talent, just check out Leprechaun?
Enough said?
Of course not, there's always the show "Friends", a show that I never watched for various reasons, thus being: 1)Never could relate to some of the male characters on it. Most of them, especially Ross, seemed like a pussy. 2) It had Jenny on it, a major "No Way I'm Watching This" element within my mind.
In fact, by repeatedly flipping the remote between two stations, you can actually watch the same episode in slow motion. You think to yourself, didn't we already put up with ten years of this obnoxious crap? Didn't we, the patient cable-watching public, already endure a decade of these people? Rachel wasn't even one of the more likable characters! On the I-Want-To-Strangle-Somebody meter, her spoiled-girl routine was third only to Courtney Cox's Chihuahua whine, and Ross's pathetic monotone drawl.
But it's okay, you think, your blood pressure beginning to rise; Jennifer Aniston has had a hard time of recently. She's almost forty and she's been jilted. And one wonders whose fault is that? Hmmm.....
The good news is that the best years of her life are behind her. That infant-snatching snake Angelina Jolie stole her man and ruined her marriage. I wonder why the fuck did Brad Pitt even look at her? He must have been doing some good coke or something.
And then,suddenly Vince Vaughn pops into your head.
Vince Vaughn? Really, Jen? Ugh. The memory haunts you. You can't get his puffy face out of your mind. That was how Jennifer Aniston decided to get back at Angelina. Wow you really let her bitch-slap you, didn't you? In fact, the whole break-up really pisses you off. The clearest, legitimate chance that somebody had to tell that up-start Jolie what's what, and Jennifer Aniston blew it. She just let it go, all mature-like. This is Hollywood, baby. Where was the catfight, the tabloid mudslinging match? You let us all down, Jen. You didn't give us what we deserved!
This is all wrong, you think. I've made a horrible mistake. You jump up from the couch. Mumbling an awkward excuse about having to feed your goldfish or something, you make for your car. Jennifer Aniston is sort of sweet you think as you drive. But damn she's irritating. Apparently, it's easier to hate Jennifer Aniston than you imagined.
Jennifer you need to kill yourself now, at least that way you may die with a little dignity.
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